The Ultimate Human Stink Bomb

I'm sure you have all heard of those fart sprays and stink bombs and all that stuff, but im also pretty sure that none of those even compare to the reaking stench of the greasy human that does not shower. Robert Pattinson, also known as Edward Cullen from the popular twilight series. I don't know about you guys, but I thought that Edward Cullen was supposed to be a well groomed, clean gentleman; which is pretty much the opposite of Robert Pattinson. He is stinky, his hair is greasy, he doesn't shave, and he is quite the nasty. When I read the Twilight books I pretty much fell head over heals for Edward, don't laugh because I'm pretty sure 99% of girls did. So when I found out that Robert Pattinson was playing Edward I freaked out! He is SO ugly. But I tried to remain calm and tried to picture Cedric Diggory from Harry Potter. He was clean and sort of seemed like a creepy vampire type of person. But then I read that fateful MSN article that informed me that he does not shower and he reaks. So now I know why he always looks so rancid.

So, if you find that creature hot.. then you better go to the doctor and get a check up because oh dear.... if only looks could kill. His ugliness would be the weapon of mass destruction. Again the casting directors made a massive mistake. They probably just wanted to pick the hottest hobo from the street and cast him as Edward Cullen. Or they just had a competition with the casting directors who made Toby Maguire Spider man to see which one of them could pick the ugliest character. I didn't really ike Jacob in the Twilight books, but the movies are slowly changing my mind because Jacob is just soo much better looking than Edward in the movies so it's really making me mad. So Robert Pattinson I sentance you to take a year long shower to make up for all the days you never did, and I sentance you to apologize to your make up artists that had to cover up your greasiness and hideousness. Oh and they also had to shave your beard because obviously you can't do that either. AND I also sentance you to try grooming a hobo to see how your make up artists feel.

Love,

Little Miss Sunshine