Monday, August 16, 2010

Ode to the Man Whore

Ohhhh it's good to be back, Little Miss Sunshine reporting for duty.
It has been a while since I have written on the most hated blog but I have returned with a new victim. Let me introduce to you..... Matthew Morrison! DUN DUN DUNNNNN *high school girls run away screaming* and so you should run, because he will approach you and "bust a move" and then you will be pregnant because he is a man whore.
So you may all know him as Will Shuester from glee, and if you haven't seen glee then here is a picture of this wretched man. (I would censor this picture but that would mean covering up his whole face so you're just gonna have to deal with the ugliness... sorry)

http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/9100000/Endless-Love-Screencaps-will-schuester-9151486-1280-720.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.fanpop.com/spots/will-schuester/images/9151486/title/endless-love-screencaps&usg=__qiCVrqzCRb4B4zXXsaMXh38Glwg=&h=720&w=1280&sz=104&hl=en&start=0&tbnid=OjDJHqNvHNZNlM:&tbnh=132&tbnw=177&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dwill%2Bschuester%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26hs%3DuaY%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-GB:official%26biw%3D1440%26bih%3D744%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=374&ei=qAdqTNeiBYT4swP3z-3GDw&oei=qAdqTNeiBYT4swP3z-3GDw&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=33&ved=1t:429,r:18,s:0&tx=127&ty=37

yuh thats just the link to the picture so that if you have any sort of medical sickness you shouldn't look at it or you could die, because it's just downright hideous. I think Sue Sylvester says it best when she insults his store-bought home perm, here is a lovely list of excellent insults:
  • "I thought I smelled cookies wafting from the ovens of the little elves that live in your hair."
  • “I don’t trust a man with curly hair. I can’t help picturing small birds laying sulfurous eggs in there, and I find it disgusting.”
  • "find a hairstyle that doesn’t make you look like a lesbian. Love ya like a sister.”
  • "Wow, I just lost my train of thought. You have so much margarine in your hair."
  • "I'm gonna bring some Asian cookery to wipe your head with. Cause right now you've got enough product in your hair to season a wok."
And if you haven't gotten a kick out of those, there his the epic finale! the insult about the huge cleft in his chin:

“I might buy a small diaper for your chin, because it looks like a baby’s ass.”

Oh Sue, you never cease to amaze me. But those are only insults on his appearance, shall we get started on the main issue surrounding this man? Okay!
First Will was married to a very strange.. kinda psycho woman named Terry, sure she was nuts but he was married to her so he should stay committed or at least divorce her if he doesn't like her any more, but we'll get back to that later. SPOILER ALERT! So Will was becoming really good friends with another teacher named Emma, and Terry thought that she was losing Will to Emma so she pretended to be pregnant. But this didn't stop Will, oh no no no, he still continued to flirt away with Emma and he kept leading her on. Eventually when Will found out Terry wasn't pregnant and she was lying to him he left out of anger and went to Emma's wedding, but it turns out that Emma didn't get married after all.
Will took advantage of this situation and tried to seduce Emma by saying "I just left my wife" while in fact, he has not left her, and they have not discussed divorce AND they had only been "broken up" for about an hour! Shameful? I think so. But let us also explore other reasons why he is a man-whore. I won't go into too much detail but here are more reasons:
- He full out made-out with Shelby when he just met her
- He invited another woman to stay at his house and they slept in the same bed without him complaining tsk tsk
-He planned to "do the nasty" with Emma while he still wasn't completely divorced with Terry
-While practicing with his glee club at school, he starts singing songs that are completely inappropraite and starts dancing around them and touching them and it's just all really weird
-He tries to seduce Sue Sylvester (which is just super disgusting)
-And still after all of this he runs back to Emma and kisses her! That poor innocent dumpling, falling into the hands of that crafty curly haird monster, it's so sad.

So there you have it, that little turd is just as confused as they get. I hope you learned a lesson from this, never use a store-bought home perm because it will make you do weird things... or actually... just stay away from people, especially men, that have store-bought home perms haha!

Love,
Little Miss Sunshine