Hey Girl Hey!

Okay so shoot me if I'm wrong but what has Paris Hilton done with her life? She makes a buttload of money, but for what reason? Who knows! She tries to sing but the computer sounds better so pretty much it's the computer selling all thes songs... or wait, do her songs even sell? I don't think I have ever heard one of Ms. Skankenteins songs... oops excuse me, paris hilton's songs. <.<   >.>
She tried acting and I haven't seen her in any movies, BUT I have seen her on the cover of one of those unrated movies.. so maybe skankety slut slut was in that one, or she was just posing for the cover because that's all she really does, is sit around and look pretty.

...or not...

OH! but let us not forget she did do that show where she wanted to find a BFF because she was lonely and the people she paid to be her friends already took the earliest flight to the other side of the world. Honestly who would want to be her friend besides becoming famous and getting money, why else would anybody befriend that brainless blond. Seriously you can't even have a decent conversation with her!
Paris: OH HEY GIRL HEY!! LOOVEEEE <3
Friend: oh hey Par-
Paris: O - EM - GEE! I am like SO bored! Let's go watch a movie!
Friend: um, okay, which one ar-
Paris: *squeels* OO YAY!! I'm like so excited!
Friend: oh! Let's go see Inception or something cool like that!
Paris: Incep.. what? omg that word is way to long! OOOO! you know what looks like so cute!
Friend: no, wha-
Paris: CATS AND DOGS 2!!!
Friend: oh my word

That is as deep as your conversations will get. I don't know about you but after a day spent with her I would be ready shoot myself. And blonds don't take offense to this, because I'm a blond too! YAY! LOVE! <3

Okay so Paris can't sing, can't act, and is unable to carry on a normal conversation therefore can't get friends without bribing them with money.
So... what is she getting paid for? oh that's right, it's an allowance from her daddy, how could I forget that.
WELL that was a worthless blog...
Love ya like a sistah!

Love,
Little Miss Sunshine

Ode to the Man Whore

Ohhhh it's good to be back, Little Miss Sunshine reporting for duty.
It has been a while since I have written on the most hated blog but I have returned with a new victim. Let me introduce to you..... Matthew Morrison! DUN DUN DUNNNNN *high school girls run away screaming* and so you should run, because he will approach you and "bust a move" and then you will be pregnant because he is a man whore.
So you may all know him as Will Shuester from glee, and if you haven't seen glee then here is a picture of this wretched man. (I would censor this picture but that would mean covering up his whole face so you're just gonna have to deal with the ugliness... sorry)

http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/9100000/Endless-Love-Screencaps-will-schuester-9151486-1280-720.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.fanpop.com/spots/will-schuester/images/9151486/title/endless-love-screencaps&usg=__qiCVrqzCRb4B4zXXsaMXh38Glwg=&h=720&w=1280&sz=104&hl=en&start=0&tbnid=OjDJHqNvHNZNlM:&tbnh=132&tbnw=177&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dwill%2Bschuester%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26hs%3DuaY%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-GB:official%26biw%3D1440%26bih%3D744%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=374&ei=qAdqTNeiBYT4swP3z-3GDw&oei=qAdqTNeiBYT4swP3z-3GDw&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=33&ved=1t:429,r:18,s:0&tx=127&ty=37

yuh thats just the link to the picture so that if you have any sort of medical sickness you shouldn't look at it or you could die, because it's just downright hideous. I think Sue Sylvester says it best when she insults his store-bought home perm, here is a lovely list of excellent insults:

• "I thought I smelled cookies wafting from the ovens of the little elves that live in your hair."

• “I don’t trust a man with curly hair. I can’t help picturing small birds laying sulfurous eggs in there, and I find it disgusting.”

• "find a hairstyle that doesn’t make you look like a lesbian. Love ya like a sister.”

• "Wow, I just lost my train of thought. You have so much margarine in your hair."

• "I'm gonna bring some Asian cookery to wipe your head with. Cause right now you've got enough product in your hair to season a wok."

And if you haven't gotten a kick out of those, there his the epic finale! the insult about the huge cleft in his chin:

“I might buy a small diaper for your chin, because it looks like a baby’s ass.”

Oh Sue, you never cease to amaze me. But those are only insults on his appearance, shall we get started on the main issue surrounding this man? Okay!
First Will was married to a very strange.. kinda psycho woman named Terry, sure she was nuts but he was married to her so he should stay committed or at least divorce her if he doesn't like her any more, but we'll get back to that later. SPOILER ALERT! So Will was becoming really good friends with another teacher named Emma, and Terry thought that she was losing Will to Emma so she pretended to be pregnant. But this didn't stop Will, oh no no no, he still continued to flirt away with Emma and he kept leading her on. Eventually when Will found out Terry wasn't pregnant and she was lying to him he left out of anger and went to Emma's wedding, but it turns out that Emma didn't get married after all.
Will took advantage of this situation and tried to seduce Emma by saying "I just left my wife" while in fact, he has not left her, and they have not discussed divorce AND they had only been "broken up" for about an hour! Shameful? I think so. But let us also explore other reasons why he is a man-whore. I won't go into too much detail but here are more reasons:
- He full out made-out with Shelby when he just met her
- He invited another woman to stay at his house and they slept in the same bed without him complaining tsk tsk
-He planned to "do the nasty" with Emma while he still wasn't completely divorced with Terry
-While practicing with his glee club at school, he starts singing songs that are completely inappropraite and starts dancing around them and touching them and it's just all really weird
-He tries to seduce Sue Sylvester (which is just super disgusting)
-And still after all of this he runs back to Emma and kisses her! That poor innocent dumpling, falling into the hands of that crafty curly haird monster, it's so sad.

So there you have it, that little turd is just as confused as they get. I hope you learned a lesson from this, never use a store-bought home perm because it will make you do weird things... or actually... just stay away from people, especially men, that have store-bought home perms haha!

Love,
Little Miss Sunshine

WHAT IS THIS MADNESS!

Okay first I would like to apologize for not updating in a very long time. We have been very busy and in all honesty forgotten about this amazing blog. But fear no more cause we are back! And just in time cause I have thought of another very unfortunate actor!
I'm sure you have all heard of batman and what a handsome hunk he is. Take a look and tell me if I'm wrong.
Not too shabby I must say. Now that you have basked in all his beautiful glory I would like you to feast your eyes on one of the earlier batmans.

CAUTION!
this may be offensive to some veiwers. Veiwer descretion is advised.



YIKES that's a nasty one. I don't know about you but I say that is one nasty batman. A classic dingus, yes dingus. Lucky for him the mask did cover half of his face but that still left one of his nastiest features way out in the open. His not supple whatsoever lips. Fortunately this picture does not show them from a side view but once you see them you will be scared of lips for the rest of your life and you may have to go to a shrink. Yes they are hideous.
Lets just say, one kiss from him and you'd be drowning in a pool of soliva with little chapped flakes from his lips floating around. Talk about my worst nightmare. So ya hes got super dry plumped up lips and it looks like hes constantly drooling which is an extra nasty bonus haha.

I am so happy that they upgraded to a much hotter batman with thin and wavy luscious lips. Where would our world be today if batman wasn't hot at all. I don't even want to think about it. I actually feel sorry for our previous generation that had not hot at all batmans, that must have been torture for them and it took away all the glory of batman. Don't worry young people you will never have to stare at that wretched face ever again. Be happy and take it all in cause you never know who the next batman will be.

This is little miss sunshine signing off intil next time

the most hated blog will never rest

The Hidden Gay

I'm sure you've all heard many rumors about Zac Efron. There is a debate going on about a very important topic... is he gay? I say that he's as gay as Elton John braiding Little Richard's hair sittin' on a rainbow. Which is pretttyyy gay. Take a look at this. And if you still don't think he's gay after reading this, then don't worry there are many more sources.

Vanessa Hudgens is beginning to have doubts about BF Zac Efron’s heterosexuality. (Shocker!) Vanessa is becoming unattracted to Zac’s compulsive makeup wearing and obsessive meltdowns over his weight and complexion.

A source tells Star Magazine

:

“She wants to date a man, not a little girl.” “Zac can be incredibly vain, obsessing about his weight.”

Baby V was left particularly red-faced just before the 12th birthday party for her kid sister, Stella, on November 13th. Zac had a meltdown and refused to attend the affair after noticing a pimple on the side of his face.

“He just flipped out. He knew there were a bunch of girls at the party who worship him-and he didn’t want them all staring at his pimple.”

Vanessa was only able to calm Zac down after she gave him her concealer to cover up the blemish.

“Vanessa told him to stop being a sissy and freaking out when he gets blemishes. Sometimes, when he goes out, Zac even wears makeup to cover up his imperfections.”

“Vanessa doesn’t want to share makeup with her boyfriend. It makes her feel weird.”

Lets look at some answers to the question: Is Zac Efron Gay?

"With full makeup, he looks gayer than a picnic basket"

"Gay, gay, gay. Just waiting for the right time to come out."

"he is as straight as a circle and as gay as michael jackson"

"yeap. i think that's true. just look at him. the way he moves.."

"Duh. Has any1 seen how he flicks his hair when he see's a guy that he thinks is hot! Idk just saying.............."

"well it looks like it."

"Yes. He was spotted making out with Joe Jonas."

So there you have it fokes, I think it's pretty clear from these sources that zac efron is at least 80% gay. I'm gonna have to go with Perez Hilton though and say that Zac is completely and utterly gay. I bet you 100000000000 gay lords a leaping that he is. And look at that hideous hair.





Oh and lets not forget what Zac Efron will soon look like when he turns 40... Talk about Nasty!



Love,

Little Miss Sunshine

Heeeeere's Johnny

So let us take a moment to pay our respects to the absolute best part in The Shining.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7JB68sLGY8


I'd say that Jack Nicholson does an excellent job playing a crazy person because he's a tad insane himself. What I am still bamboozled by is why he says Here's Johnny when his name isn't even Johnny in the movie! He's a little confused and is going through an identity crisis just like Miley Cyrus... poor Johnny. She probably passed on the mental syndrome to him, he didn't even know what hit him. And we also can't forget Jack Nicholson in the super old Joker Batman Movie. That was a sight to see.

I don't know about you but I pretty much peed my pants when I saw that picture. That hideous beast could most definately give hitler a heart attack. I don't know how he allowed this picture to get on the internet. If that were my picture I would rather die than see my face looking like THAT on the computer. I would probably burrow down into a hobbit hole and never see day light for the rest of my life. So this man either has a ton of guts or he is just plain insane... lets go with the plain insane one. Because nobody in the right mind would even agree to do this movie if they had to get dressed up like that. Atleast in the new Joker Batman movie with Heath Ledger the Joker actually looks like a messed up criminal. In the old one the Joker just looks like some creepy old man pedofile clown, just like Miley Cyrus. Boy these two have so much in common :O
Not only is Jack Nicholson probably the worst actor ever, he is also one of the ugliest so therefore he deserves to be on this blog. Don't get me wrong, he does GREAT as a insane person, but theres more to life than playing a mental when you already are one. So Jack Nicholson I sentance you to check into a mental hospital by axing down the front door and screaming HERE'S JOHNNY in your absolute best miley cyrus voice.

Love,
Little Miss Sunshine

Hairy Potty

All of you love the Harry Potter series no doubt ‘cause I certainly do. Except for one little smidgen of a problem has given Harry Potter a bad name and that name my friends is Daniel Radcliffe. Also known as the creepy bird/frog man. Why you ask? Look at his face. It looks like a bird combined with a frog…disturbing much. I have absolutely no clue why those casting directors chose this creature for Harry Potter, seriously, they should of given more thought to which actor should play HP.

This is what Daniel will look like in 40 years…


Scary huh? Well it’s the truth folks, that’s what Harry Potter will look like in the near future. Anyways, on with the review. For those of you who don’t know, Radcliffe played a naked guy in a play called Equus (which means horse in Latin). Well…since the pictures are too grotesque to look at, I will not put them up here …well….I guess I could put them on here but I’ll have to block out the crack because it’s too monstrous to see without censoring.

(WARNING: SCROLL DOWN AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!!)































If you just puked your guts out, that it completely normal because I just did that as well. And I know what you’re thinking (OMG how could she STAND editing the censorship in that picture??!?! That means she would have to see his -) Yes, I had to see his gluteus maximus. I had medical support beside though so I they literally saved my life a couple times when my heart stopped from the ugliness. As you can see in the picture following, Daniel Radcliffe has sexual relationships with a horse. And to make it worse, he’s a gay because I’m pretty sure that horse is a male.



Absolutely mortifying. That’s all I can say. I still can’t believe people actually find it (radcliffe) attractive. I pity those who do because they obviously have never seen these pictures. To sum everything up, Daniel Radcliffe is ugly, stupid, annoying, dorky, zero acting skills, and he is gay.
That’s all I have to say <--- this rhymes teehee :)

Hope you all enjoyed my post about the hideous Daniel Radcliffe, see you soon in my next post!!

~Aiko-Chan

The Ultimate Human Stink Bomb

I'm sure you have all heard of those fart sprays and stink bombs and all that stuff, but im also pretty sure that none of those even compare to the reaking stench of the greasy human that does not shower. Robert Pattinson, also known as Edward Cullen from the popular twilight series. I don't know about you guys, but I thought that Edward Cullen was supposed to be a well groomed, clean gentleman; which is pretty much the opposite of Robert Pattinson. He is stinky, his hair is greasy, he doesn't shave, and he is quite the nasty. When I read the Twilight books I pretty much fell head over heals for Edward, don't laugh because I'm pretty sure 99% of girls did. So when I found out that Robert Pattinson was playing Edward I freaked out! He is SO ugly. But I tried to remain calm and tried to picture Cedric Diggory from Harry Potter. He was clean and sort of seemed like a creepy vampire type of person. But then I read that fateful MSN article that informed me that he does not shower and he reaks. So now I know why he always looks so rancid.

So, if you find that creature hot.. then you better go to the doctor and get a check up because oh dear.... if only looks could kill. His ugliness would be the weapon of mass destruction. Again the casting directors made a massive mistake. They probably just wanted to pick the hottest hobo from the street and cast him as Edward Cullen. Or they just had a competition with the casting directors who made Toby Maguire Spider man to see which one of them could pick the ugliest character. I didn't really ike Jacob in the Twilight books, but the movies are slowly changing my mind because Jacob is just soo much better looking than Edward in the movies so it's really making me mad. So Robert Pattinson I sentance you to take a year long shower to make up for all the days you never did, and I sentance you to apologize to your make up artists that had to cover up your greasiness and hideousness. Oh and they also had to shave your beard because obviously you can't do that either. AND I also sentance you to try grooming a hobo to see how your make up artists feel.

Love,

Little Miss Sunshine

Attack of the Concave Asian

Before I start, in case you don't know or are too lazy to look up yourself, here is the definition of Concave:
"curving inward"

Now we may begin.
Hello again my fellow readers, it’s me Aiko-chan back with another victim to “review”. We’ve got a lot more uglies to talk about so don’t even think we’re close to and end, this is just the beginning >:)! Without further ado, we are off!

I was recently reading Fruit’s Basket, an awesome shoujo manga (thanks so much little miss sunshine for letting borrow vol. 1!) when I took a moment to think Hmmm… I wonder if there are any anime characters that could possibly be ugly.

Then it came to me. Sano.

Now the anime character isn’t the ugly one, I’m talking about the Sano from the Live Drama Hana-Kimi. Omg, when I first laid eyes on him I knew that those silly casting directors had once again made a horrible mistake. *shakes head miserably*

His real name is Oguri Shun (but I like calling him Sano).Not exactly the most attractive Asian guy.

I pity him. It must suck having all the girls scared of you and only to be pitied by being used in dramas so you don’t have to be told “You are…special”. That was obviously the only reason those casting directors would have ever decided to place him as the role of Sano. I mean REALLY. Look at him!! He doesn’t look anything like the hottie from Hana-Kimi! Well…I do admit it is a tad hard to find people who look like manga characters but seriously, they could of picked a hotter guy at the very least.

Oh deary me! I’ve completely forgotten about that other little flaw that our Sano has!
But I don’t wanna hog all the fun! Let’s have Sano tell you! C’mon buddy ‘ol pal, let’s hear it!!

Wow.
Pretty…straight forward I must say. Oh well, your secret is out now Sano. It’s true folks, just when you think this guy couldn’t get uglier, it turns out he has a dent in his left ab. Pretty disturbing, I know. They tried to cover it up by making him wear a shirt all the time but you know how Hana-Kimi works, there’s a lot of shirtless guys so they couldn’t let him get away with it that time and then*WHOOPS* his secret got out. That’s what those dumb directors get for letting actors get away with their uncalled-for-ugliness. (Take a look at the previous posts for proof).

Thanks again for reading my post, I hope you enjoyed it! Once again, this is Aiko-Chan signing off~!

Are they Father and Daughter or are they lovers?

A question that has been haunting all of our minds ever since we saw THIS picture.

I don't know about you, but I would NEVER do that with my dad. I also knew miley was scandalous but I never thought that she would be this desperate. Since she's pretty much a man herself, she was having trouble picking up boys. So I guess she thought she might as well try her dad. And there you have it, the nastiest picture of all time. The reasons for this madness are not very clear, but I have some theories. Maybe she was becoming very confused because she's obviously going through an identity crisis with that whole hannah montana fiasco, so she found comfort in taking pictures with her dad... thats still pretty messed up but whatever, she's the one that started that whole shibang (that's right, shibang).

Speaking of Hannah Montana, it shouldn't be that difficult to choose who to be. Would you rather wear a hideous wig, wear clothes that make you look like a child molesting troll, or would you rather be yourself. I guess it doesn't even matter anyways because Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus both SUCK at singing. Lets face it, she sounds like a man, looks like a man and acts like a man. Oh and her latest hannah montana movie, now that was seriously the worst movie ever made, and it was pretty much the biggest waste of time. Why anybody would like that movie is beyond me. I would like to end by saying that Miley Cyrus is officially dubbed an Ork.

Love,

Little Miss Sunshine

Leather Face

I would first like to welcome my new writing partner and a dear friend of mine Aiko-Chan! She recently made a post so I suggest you read it because it is excellent.

Now on to my 3rd target. Harrison Ford. Starting off with a very very important fact that must be heard before we go on. Harrison has such a leathery face that he actually produced a cow! Take a close look.

After looking at it for half a second you start getting nightmares. You can definately tell that a cow could come from that. So how old is this guy? In his late 70's i believe. So why would they make another Indiana Jones movie when he would probably need a stunt man for walking. There was no doubt that Shia LeBouf was the star of that movie. All the girls are drooling over him not some hairy, wrinkly, leathery old fart that can't move.

I actually liked the Indiana Jones movies, but what I still find quite comical is that in every Indiana Jones movie harrison ford hooks up with some hot chick that turns out to be evil. Wouldn't he learn from his mistakes? Or is he just some creepy old man that wants to make out with girls that are 20 years younger than he is. So watch out girls you never know when Harrison Ford will be creeping outside your windows. But if you don't have any cows your pretty close to safe because he would be most likely to migrate to houses that have the same species as himself.

Stay tuned for our next target.

Love,

Little Miss Sunshine

The Hag named Craig

Hullo!! This is Aiko-Chan, I'm a new writer for this blog and I'll be helping out Little Miss Sunshine write posts for The Most Hated Blog~! I am soo honored to be able to write posts here, many thanks miss sunshine!! Anyways, on with the posting!!!1

First, I would like to ask you all to take a moment and examine the face that lies here before you.
...


Secondly, I'd like to ask does this look ANYTHING like a James Bond kind of guy to you??
Thirdly, WHAT THE HECK WERE THEY THINKING!??!?!?!?!!

Giving Daniel Craig the role for Bond was the biggest mistake in the history of movie making I have ever seen. Seriously. Just look at him?!!? The Bond I know would NEVER have such scraggly looking features or that..uhm...eyeliner O.o? Or how about...omg is that GREY HAIR I SEE?! *tsk tsk*

Now here is the ORIGINAL Bond, much, much better looking I dare say.


Much better looking. Period.

He's got the looks, the charm, the mysterious dark eyes, and not to mention darker hair. Have those people who gave Daniel Craig the role for Bond ever heard of Tall, Dark and HANDSOME?!?!
I mean..REALLY. I don't even have to take a second look at the pics above to figure out where the people made a mistake in deciding the actor for Bond. What ever happened to the good ol' days where James Bond didn't have creepy looking eyes!

Thank you for reading my post and I'd like to end with a few more words for the readers.
Please DO underestimate the casting directors who decide to allow these actors to bypass the rules and regulations of LOOKS and ACTING.

This is Aiko-Chan signing off! ;)

Spider What?

I hope you all enjoyed my first post, but enough about that. We must continue the rants.

Target #2: Toby Maguire
Before I go on, you have to watch this interview to get in the mood.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CR8wrqsb3c0

There, now we can start.
You all heard all of his ridiculously stupid answers, they almost beat out the answers that the Ms. America pagent contestants give. But what makes it really funny is that he's an educated man! Or at least we think he is... you never know. This could have not been so bad if he was better looking, but we all can obviously see that this is not the case. Lets start from the top shall we?
1. Receeding Hairline (not as bad as nicolas cage but it's getting there)
2. Unibrow (you can tell he waxes it)
3. Bug eyes (there is not denying that)
4. Warty nose (so they may not be warts but they sure look like it)
5. Fat lips (they aren't pretty ones like angelina jolie's)
6. But chin (butt chins look good on some people but he cannot pull it off)

I think you get the point. So the question that we have to bring up today is, Why on earth did they cast Toby Maguire as Spiderman?
This mind boggling question has swept the nation, and very few know the answer. Sure Peter Parker is supposed to be a nerd, but wouldn't you say that Toby is pushing it? He has to be some what good looking so it would make sense that MJ would like him. Like in the second movie MJ finds a quite attractive man and they were gonna get married but no, she decides to go kiss spiderman instead. I'll admit that it's a cute story, but couldn't James Franco (the ultimate hotty) have been casted as Spiderman and Toby Maguire as Harry Osbourne. That would have been perfect because you can make James Franco look nerdy but still be a babe at the same time, which is impossible for Toby Maguire.

Oh and lets not forget in Spiderman 3 when Toby Maguire adventures his so-called "emo" side.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEWzrVkh6pk
you see when he's struttin his stuff down the street, those girls were giving him the weirdest "what the heck? What is he on?" looks. Yeah thats what everybody is thinking, Peter Parker is on drugs. I don't know about you but that is pretty much the most hideous thing that I have seen in a while. If it was James Franco strutting, now that would be nice :D

How about we leave that question be, because it is quite obvious that there is no answer to that and there is no point wasteing our time pondering it. Whoever hired Toby must have been on drugs.

Ursula or Cage?

Dear crazed fans, welcome to the most hated blog and say hello to your new entertainment. You will from now on know me as Little Miss Sunshine (original, i know).

I created this blog for the soul purpose of making fun of everything and everyone. I don't expect this to become popular and remember that this is only my opinion. So all you people that have completely different views then me... just keep quiet and leave me in peace.

My first target is somebody that has been one of my closest and most dearest arch enemies. Nicolas Cage. Let it be known that he closely resembles Ursula from Disney's Little Mermaid. Both of their hairdos are ridiculous! Nicolas Cage has a macho receeding hairline, which wouldn't be so bad if he would keep is hair short, but no he wouldn't do that. He instead decided to make himself as monstrous as possible and he grew his hair long. So now it just looks like a toupee/wig/bob on the back of his head. So if you see him walking down the street from behind, you would think its a girl, but then from the front you would think its a bald man! It's enough to think that you are going insane by seeing two different people on the same person. You would go mental and run around the street asking people if they see "it" too.

Let us not forget also the crazed facial expressions that both of them make. They are awfully simular in this factor which makes it hard to decide who the most hideous face award should go to. But since Ursula is a cartoon and can do unlimited faces and Nicolas Cage is still up there with her on the crazy faces poll, I think that the Nicolas Cage should win the gold. He could make a 15 year war survivor commander cringe in horror. So you can imagine the reaction of somebody who was not prepared, I won't mention the details for it would be too gruesome.

Of course there is also the singing. Let it be known that Ursula ripped off the "Poor Unfortunate Souls" song from Nicolas Cage and just changed around the lyrics a bit. Here is the one and only original written by our own Nicolas Cage.

CAGE
The only way to get what you want is to become like me.

PERSON
Can you do that?

CAGE
My dear, innocent dumpling. That's what I do. It's what I live for.
To turn fortunate people like yourself into somebody like me.
Poor souls with no one else to turn to.

I admit that I am usually a nasty
They aren't kidding when they call me, well, a troll
But you'll find that sometimes
I can be a tad nice
Happy, Dandy, and not a mole
And I fortunately know a little magic
It's a talent that I havn't always possessed
And dear lady, please don't laugh
'Cause I shall use it on behalf
Of the happy, the joyful, and not depressed

Very fortunate souls
In luck, no needs
This one I will make hairier
That one I will make bigger
And do I help them?
No!
Those very fortunate souls
So bad, they suck
They go running from my cauldron
Crying, "Help, Cage is insane!"
But I Zap them anyways!
Yes I do

Now it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals
Not even one would complain
Even though I've been a pain
To those very fortunate souls

Have we got a deal?

PERSON
If my face looks like yours, my father and sisters would never look at me again.

CAGE
But you'll be a man, heh heh. Life's full of tough choices, isn't it? Heh heh.
Oh, and there is one more thing.
We haven't discussed the subject of payment.

PERSON
But I don't have-

CAGE
I'm not asking much, just a token really, a trifle!
What I want from you is - your toes.

PERSON
But without my toes, how can I-

CAGE
You'll have my looks, my pretty face.
And don't underestimate the importance of my face, ha!

The men up there love my gorgeous looks
They think a girl who is pretty is a bore!
Yet on land it's much prefered for ladies to look like men
And after all dear, what do you need toes for?
Come on, they're not all that impressed with toes
True gentlemen avoid them when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady with a mans looks
It's she who looks like a man gets a man

Come on you very fortunate soul
Go ahead!
Make your choice!
I'm a very busy "it" and I haven't got all day
It won't cost much
Just your toes!
You very fortunate soul
It's happy and true
If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet
You've got the pay the toll to the troll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll
Harrison Ford, Toby Maguire now I've got her, boys
The boss is on a roll
This very fortunate soul

HIGHA GOSHA LUGGA BIER!!

Now, sing!

PERSON
Aah...

Keep singing!

There you have it. Now you have heard the orginal version of poor unfortunate souls which is actually called very fortunate souls. (Just so you know that song was completely just made up and Nicolas Cage didn't actually write that song. But believe me, I took the words right out of his mouth).